Faithful City Morris Men
Unreliable Biographies
IAN JAMES
Ian has recently moved into the area being a former Greensleeves man. We don’t yet know any of his guilty secrets to publish here but when we do this is where they’ll go. As well as a dancer Ian is a concertina player.
ROBIN KALINOWSKI
Robin is renowned for turning up late. He is so keen on the dance that he tore his Achilles tendon to avoid having to do a gig. History was made this year when we finally persuaded him to lead a dance.
TIM KELSEY
Tim is a Primary school teacher and our newest novice. He is picking up the dances very well and we believe this is because of the extra practice he gets as he Morris dances along the school corridors between lessons!!
STAN KILBY
On the current “sick list” Stan is the world’s foremost exponent of the Kilby school of dance which involves having both feet on the floor at all times while keeping in time with the music. I’ll say this for it - he’s never on the wrong foot.
BEN MOULE
ROBERT SLATER
If you want to scare your children get them to look at his website (www.magicwords.co.uk) he sings and spends whole evenings tuning his guitar. He is also employed by the KGB to get military secret out of children who live on UK forces bases in Germany.
ALISTAIR SMITH
Ali is a chef and comes from Bonnie Scotland. He is a walking (or dancing) encyclopaedia of aviation history and also very handy at rustling up a hot meal on camping weekends.
BILL SMITH
Bill plays, makes and repairs fiddles. He has danced Morris in various parts of the world notably Australia. He also seems to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of where to find “good ale”.
Glyn’s brother (see below). Ian is a second generation dancer we dance “Steve’s dance” in memory of his father who died in kit in Stourport. Ian usually leads this dance/he is a very enthusiastic dancer.
MIKE WALTON
The third ex-Kempsey man (see Richard Hannah and Alex Brown). Mike is the only Morris Man I know who will stop dancing to watch a bus go by. His website marries his interests of folk music/dance and busses- well worth a visit.
( www.worcesterfolk.org.uk )He is also a musician.
ANDREW WATSON
Andrew joined the side in its first year and is still an active member of the Morris and Rapper sides at the age of *?@! A semi-retired farmer. Andrew is renowned for being about ½ beat ahead of the music by everyone except himself.
GORDON WHITTAKER
Gordon has finally realised that he has to act his age so cut his ponytail off and bought a flashy car. Gordon is the quiet one in the side.
THE DIASPORA
There are various occasional members of the side. The club rule is that you cannot resign from it so once a FCMM always a FCMM.
KEITH BARKER
Unrelated to either of the Barkers above. Keith knows where all the best food deals are available and occasionally turns up on Boxing day.
JIM BARTLETT
Jim holds the world record for dancing 202 miles in a week from Orpington to Worcester. Now living in South Wales we usually see him at Bromyard FF.
Alex developed a new tradition of the dance which involves climbing up a ladder and then falling off it. Consequently he was on the “sick list” for a while. Another ex-Kempsey man and still turns out for Hammersmith. One of his endearing qualities is that he can call a dance if someone tells him when it starts. Unfortunately he has moved away from the area now. We will miss his “bouncy” style of dancing which used to put us to shame!
DAVID CHAUNDY
Time is catching up with David and we see him rarely now. He plays pipe and tabor and his Morris history goes back at least 50 years. He once helped William Kimber get up after he fell off his bike coming up their drive.
PETE DAUNCEY
Pete used to be the town crier for Bromyard. As you would expect he was excellent at announcing the dances. Unfortunately he has moved away from the area, so we rarely see him these days.
MALCOLM HOPPER
Known as “Malcolm who?” it would be good to see you again Malcolm!!
BRIAN JOHNSON
Also known as “Josh”. He has always turned out for Bromyard Folk Festival (he lives 50 yards from the town spot). His dancing would improve if he also came to practice.
NICK OLIVER
Now dancing with Ilmington MM and often comes to ring meetings with us. We dance with Ilmington once a year and see him then also.
TONY ROBERTS
A retired policeman who now works for the ambulance service. What we want to know did the ambulance people know of his police history of totalling Land Rovers. He now claims to be allergic to Cheshire Cheese after eating too much at a Chester MM weekend.
NORMAN SHEFIELD
Another ex-policeman now retired. He seems to have lost contact with us.
Ian’s brother and Mark’s brother in law (see above). Glyn is like Mark in that he picks up and remembers dances far too easily so he is also hated by the side. Glyn is in charge of the defence of the nation (at least that’s what he tells me) but when it is safe, he returns to Worcester to show us all up.
JOHN WHITAKER
John is always “about to come back to FCMM” it would be good if it actually happened.
DISCLAIMER
NONE OF THE ABOVE MAY BE TRUE BUT NO NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT BECAUSE GOD DOES THAT AS A MATTER OF ROUTINE.